stay at home dad leaves post its for his wife (part 2 ya lil shits)
Going to need more note pads… awwwwww!!!!
Oh. My. Gosh.
I love every single bit of this post.
I don’t know whether to be concerned or put my phone 5,000 feet away from me.
if you dont like otters i dont like you
& where do the rest of us get our face hugging Otters?
It shouldn’t be called meet and greet it should be called pay and hey
when you’re talking with a friend and they suddenly say something really offensive and gross
Hairdresser: do you like it?
Me: yes thank you
*goes home and cries*
You see this bitch? This is the fucking Audi A9 Concept vehicle.
It is the most beastly motherfucker to light up my Tumblr page.
The thing has engines in it’s wheels.
IN THE MOTHERFUCKING WHEELS.
See that futuristic design? Makes Acura designs look so 2010.
Oh? Where’s the windshield? It’s fully integrated into the roof using nano technology.
That means the bitch repairs itself.
Oh and that badass window and windshields?
It can change from solid like that to clear when you drive.
White isn’t a very sporty color? NO WORRIES. This beast can change it’s motherfucking color to whatever you fucking want.
THIS BITCH SHOULD GET IN MY GARAGE.
This is the sexiest thing after Marik, I swear.
JUST IMAGINE MARIK IN THIS.
The flight attendant just announced “If you don’t like any of my jokes, there are six exits” and told us where the emergency exits are it was actually the best
"for those of you who are traveling with children… WHY"
"if you’re changing to a flight with a different airline, we don’t care."
he said “okay now get out” once we landed i’m pissing myself
wouldn’t it be frightening if you walked into a room and suddenly boss battle type music started playing out of nowhere
domino’s pizza saw the chance and they took it
what movie is this
it’s a britsh tv show called ‘horrible histories’ and it’s amazing
Avoiding spoilers on tumblr
do you ever want to sleep for 14 years without waking up
im going to name my kid pregnant so they can be like “hi im pregnant” and everyone will stand there all mortified
basically i dont care if you drink smoke or do drugs as long as you can hold a conversation about something besides the fact that you drink smoke or do drugs